Tonight, I don't have a revelation. I don't have some big statement about the universe, or some huge idea that will blow all your minds away. I'm just coming as me. And right now, me isn't all so philosophical. Right now, me is a little distressed. Right now, me doesn't know what to do or where she is coming from. Right now, me is done living. Done. Right now, me is lost. Because there are so many people. So many people. People I have loved, people I have hurt, people I have hated. And I kind of just want all of them to shut up. I want everybody to shut up for a second and let me talk. Let me breathe. Stop making me feel something, stop telling me what to do. Just love me. Stop putting me in corners. Just love me. Just look at me and support me and love me and stop. Stop talking, stop making this your problem. Stop thinking you have any say. Stop. And if you're going to stay in my life, don't twist the knife. Because I have enough people twisting their fucking knifes in me. People just keep on using me. Stop using me. Stop. Everybody needs to stop. Because I'm about done. Im about ready to call it quits. Im so ready. And I don't want to be ready. And I wish I could stop all the pain in the world from rushing in on me all at once. And I wish I had somebody to go to when it does.
But nobody wants to hear me.
Everybody is just a little fed up.
I just want somebody.
And I have so much to be thankful for, and so much potential and I just have so much. But it's like, I'm missing something. There is this huge hole in me and it just feels like every problem every issue every everything that brought anybody in this world any sort of pain rushes into it all at once and overflows it and I just drown. I just drown in all of this and I want somebody that I can call and that will just love me.
That won't tell me anything. That will just love me. But I can't make somebody do that. I can't make anybody do that and I'm done trying to do the impossible.
I'm done.
Everybody just stop.