At this point, I'm not really sure how I am going to make myself happy. I'm not really sure where I'm going to get the guts to get my life together. And truthfully, I'm not really sure my life is ever going to have been gotten together. I will always be in conflict. With myself, with the world, with the way things are and the changes that come. I will always fight. I will fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. I am absolutely relentless and I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to stop fighting. I don't know when or how to just let another person win. Let another thought win. Let everything win, and then go. I don't know how to just let it all go. I don't know how not to hate.

I don't know how to look at somebody I absolutely, positively despise in every sense of the matter, and not just get so fucking pissed off that they exist. I don't know how to just say to myself, "They are here. They are a certain way. That's the facts of it. No amount of dirty looks and rude comments is going to change that. So forgive them. Forgive them for being who they are. Forgive them for pissing you off. Forgive them for being disgusting and rude, for hurting people you love, for being annoying. Forgive them. Because they can't help it just as much as you can't help hating them for all of the above."

The way to combat hate is not with love. It is not with acceptance of hate. It is with forgiveness. It is with each and every person that exists on this much-to-tiny, annoying-to-be-alive-on planet trying their god damn hardest to forgive. This is how we stop racism, and poverty, and sexism, and homophobia, and every type of general everyday hatred that seeps out of us so freely and without control.

Forgiveness. We stop all the hatred with forgiveness.

I forgive you for living in my home. I forgive you for looking like a midget/beast. I forgive you for being so immature my internal organs begin to bleed every time you're around. I forgive you for eating all the good food that minimally exists in my house. I forgive you for causing fights in my family. I forgive you for trashing our house. I forgive you for costing my parents money. I forgive you for being the catalyst of my hate. I forgive you for bringing out the worst parts of me. I forgive you for never talking. I forgive you for causing trouble. I forgive you for being naïve.

There is nothing I do not forgive you for.

You are free from me and my hatred, free from my dirty looks and my eye rolls, free from the never ending critical comments. You are absolutely free.

And now, so am I.