im in this place, this good place. its happy. happier than i've been in awhile. the people, the places, the conversations. it's good. it's the way i want it. i never thought it would be this easy, to get where i am. but all of a sudden, it just popped up. out of nowhere. like a jack in the box that somebody else wound up. but really, i should of seen this day coming. it was so easy. i just decided that i didn't care anymore, about the stupid people. about the people that hurt me. about the places where everything went wrong. i let go, i moved on. and suddenly, everything was ok. and now i'm happier than ever. so happy that i just want to hug everything in pure delight, just because i can. just hugs, hugs and more hugs. every day, every minute. wrapped up in somebodies arms. anybodies. but in this place, this overly happy place, where the equation equals the right amount-im scared. so scared. frightened. like i don't want to take it overboard. because whenever you go up, you have to go down. i'm scared i'll lose it all. that everything and everybody that makes me happy, will decide that i don't make them happy. and they'll leave. and i'll be crying, because i thought i had them. i thought they wanted me. but they didn't. and it'll be a terrible surprise. it's like im just waiting for the egg to crack, for all the happiness and glitter to spill through in one big rush and i won't have enough time, or energy, to catch it. it's all so scary. and i sit here, and i think about this. maybe a little too much, but thats just me. i just am so happy and so scared at the same time. please, please don't let me lose you.