and as you walk along you pick out the things and the ones that matter in a sea of potential. sometimes you'll get it wrong, and you'll regret the fact that you ever chose them. that you ever wasted your time.
and when i face this fact, head on, thats when i really regret you.
and all of my wasted time.
i could've slept that night, you bastard.
and now, i'm more tired than i've ever been before. and at the same time, your more alive than you've been in years.
or maybe, your just faking it.
i think you are, or atleast thats what i'd like to think. thats what my friends that used to know you think. they didn't know you like i did though. they never memorized your smile.
but when i ask them, they say you look empty. they say i completed you. but people say a lot of things.
tell me what im supposed to believe.
and that night, when i saw you again, really saw you, for the first time since that other night, i saw your eyes light up. in that same lovely way they used to when we were in love. you never stopped loving me. but thats not even the point.
and i really wanted her to be there, so she could see it too.
her, the girl who knows everything.
i wanted so desperately for her to see it, so we could talk about it for years to come.
because even though you left me, one thing i know for sure is that she never will.
so i wanted her to see it, so she could look at me in the future and say, once i've actually found the one of course, "do you remember your first's eyes? well, your forever's look just the same."
and maybe, just because i can think wishfully if i so please, my first might also be my forever.