im learning to breathe. everyday. to stop worrying. im learning that life is beautiful and that this world is even more so. im learning that love is love and people are people and life is life. im learning that it all doesn't matter as much as i think it does and that everything, everything is absolutely wonderful because everything makes me human. and not some half-human piece of perfection. but a human, with love pumping through my veins and hair sprouting from my head and words melting to the ends of my fingertips. and i can't even believe its taken my this long to breathe. to relax already. but i don't want to waste another minute with tears and sorrow and broken pieces. i want to be human.

so here's the thing: i threatened. i pleaded. i cried. i did everything i possibly could to make things go my way. to stop my heart from breaking and you from defining me. But you keep doing it, over and over. You make or break my day. And I just can't do it anymore. And maybe you're not losing anything by me walking out. Maybe this was your motive all along. Fine. Joke's on me. I failed, I'm losing. But you know what, really, I'm not. You are. Who's going to be there when your world's crashing in? Because before it was me. But you can't ever live up to anything you promise. and thats your problem. because im so done letting you define me. and im so done letting you dictate my life. and i should have been so done so much earlier. you shouldn't have been able to dig so deep into me. but you did. you really did. and maybe thats what you wanted. to dig so deep that there would be no way for me to find the dirt to fill the hole back in. but i swear i will find the dirt. and it will be no thanks to you. i have spent my whole life, well really, maybe only these past few years, so afraid of being alone. but i can be alone. because really, haven't i been all along? hasn't this all just been one big fucking joke? its a sick joke, for sure. because it was my soul, and my heart at risk. you're all taken care of. and you are so, so good at making me feel important when you know your going to lose me. but for once, i want to be important instead of just feel it. and trust me, i know the difference. im smart. how do you think i got you through all those crisis's when she just didn't understand? it wasn't because of luck. its because im smart. i mean for fucks sake, i even gave you advice on how to give her advice. and i bet that worked out perfectly, didn't it? well, of course it did. and now you're all happy and shes all happy and everything is just a big fucking happy fest. so, ok. i get it. but this was the last straw, and you knew it. you knew it. so i'm saying fuck you with a capital f. and maybe, just for kicks, a capital y.
Fuck You.