Sunday, October 21, 2012

I've taken a lot of people for granted. And the funny thing is- they are all the people that stayed. The people that stuck around for the long run. The people who didn't demand the gory details out of me, who didn't come to me for a good time, who didn't ask of me anything but myself. The very people I did the greatest demoting of taking for granted to are the ones who really have been my greatest friends through this funny life. Because the people that stayed, the people I took for granted and failed to care if they stayed or went, are the ones who sat with me, and continue to sit with me, in the pain. They sit there and they don't ask questions and they let me be who I need to be around them. They never demanded this other person that people normally demand from me, the fun, excited, interesting me. But the ones I took for granted- they wanted and accepted the pain filled me- the me who needed so desperately to talk about her body, the me who just wanted to talk music and college because everything else was too hard. And they understood. They sat right across from me, looked me in the eyes, and got it. They loved me through my rediculousness, my irrationality, my dramatic reactions, my pain filled expressions. They loved me, and they stood next to me. 
Yet I took them for granted. 
I expected them to be there. 
And while they should have been the ones I loved and cared for and made a priority, I continued to fall helplessly for the leavers. For the ones who demanded this new and improved me, the me who was full of happiness and fun and always willing to give. I let the leavers break me into pieces and tear me apart and tell me how worthless I was and the sad thing is I stuck around for it to happen. I gave the most to the people who only demanded more and gave the least to the ones who never demanded anything, and who gave to me all they could. 
And now that I'm looking back, and noticing exactly who these people were, and are, in my life story, I can honestly say they deserve so much love. And that's what I plan on giving them. Love. Because they need it too. The people you take for granted need love too. They need your support, and your ears, and your fun and your heart and your recognation of their worth. The people you tossed aside as friends for a rainy day, deserve the reminder of worth just as much (if not more) than the ones you focused in on with the most percise of cameras. So give them that. Give them your love and your support and your recognition. Give them the acceptance of themselves. Because that is the very gift that I have been given by the people I so often forgot to thank. 
So, to the ones I took for granted- thank you from my callused toes to the split ends of my curly hair. You have been my greatest support, and your loyalty and love and consistency has been the very thing that has kept me together. You have been the ones to glue me back together when I had no idea where I even left the pieces. 
Thank you for my life.